my footprints

Sunday, September 21, 2008

its been a week since i last blogged. sometimes being sick with pending deadlines to meet just can't seem to get you started on anything or anywhere. but i think i need to learn to not give self-inflicted stress and take things one step at a time.

well, i had a number of encounters with my kids in school this week and there had been moments where i nearly pulled out my hair due to my frustrations of not knowing what to do with their tantrums, screams & yells. but i've come to understanding too, that it is actually not that the kids have their disorders to blame for being difficult to handle. but it is really, they do not know how to communicate to me and me, not being able to see and decipher what they are trying to tell me. simply put, they don't understand what i was trying to communicate and i don't understand what they are communicating to me.

but then again, these incidents made me draw parallel to my personal mode of communication. its the same actually. at times i do feel like my kids, highly stressed & upset because others don't understand me or understand what i was trying to put across. i've learnt too, that it isn't that personal afterall. and in the midst of not taking the communication differences too hard on myself, i'm seeing things in a way from others' perspectives apart from my own's. especially so for the relationships within my family, g12 sisters, cell group, working colleagues, my kids and sam too.

i have to admit, it was difficult learning to understand certain people. it was an even harder struggle to always have to keep the many points of view into consideration. sometimes tiredness just gets into you and i feel like i want to box myself over and over again for those feelings of insignificance, incompetence, rejections and disappointments. but i know, that for as long as i know what's close to my heart, all those fears don't matter that much after all :)

she pens down @ 8:22 PM --------------------------------------------------------------