me
beixuan
01071987
princess of God
a joy giver
early intervention teacher
fcbc youthnet
yoznet
Thursday, August 07, 2008
as i made my way home today, i thought about how i went through this week of work. i had an increase of workload, faced more frustrations especially dealing with my 2 boys, dealt with a sudden increase of awareness that there's really a lot to pick up and felt a substantial amount of stress from certain expectations of colleagues & myself. there were just some frustrations, feelings of incompetence & moments of despair while i handled my kids.
did i have a bad week? nope, i don't think i did. that bit of stress was predominantly there. but those things just made me think quite a fair bit. yet like what Scripture says, i'm just glad & thankful. especially for where God has placed me right now.
i know, that this is a place where i can fulfil a huge portion of my heart's desire. to be among the little ones has always been something close to my heart. there is a lot of lightheartedness & enjoyable moments despite the negative feelings. yes, i am happy. more so, it is more than just being happy.
it is been a joy, a joy in learning how to deal with my own incompetency & insignificance, a joy in being able to do something that i have always wanted to since 5 years back, a joy to be where God has placed me in despite the difficulties & struggles that i may have to face and a joy to bless & be blessed :)
i know that every now and then, i will still come back to looking at why i feel lousy or why did i handle my kids in certain manner which i could have done better or that i could have controlled my reactions/emotions better. but even though there are pending issues & disturbing thoughts at the back of my mind, i am choosing not to rant & complain & lament on groundless bases. instead, i'm choosing to learn how to seek God in guiding me to deal with these booboo issues even when it is difficult to do so :)
she pens down @ 9:04 PM