my footprints

Thursday, April 24, 2008

"IT'S NOT A PRIDE THING;
IT'S A HUNGER THING"

"we think we know where God lives.
we think we know what He likes, and we are SURE to know what He dislikes."

these are the first two sentences of the first chapter of "God Chasers" by Tommy Tenney. but the first two sentences were deep enough to set me thinking during my time with God without continuing with the rest of the page, not to mention the chapter.

most of us are familiar with the "desirable" side of God, we all know what it means to obey and do all that is good in His sight. but because we all fall into the traps & temptations of the world's view of "better" things, we are even more aware of what God does not like.

just like what Paul says in the book of Romans, "i do not understand what i do. for what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate to do. and if i do what i do not want to do, i agree that the law is good. as it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. i know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful natue. for i have the desire to do what is good, but i cannot carry it out. for what i do is not the good i want to do; no, the evil i do not want to do- this i keep on doing. now if i do what i do not want to do, it is no longer i who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

many a time, i find myself being able to identify with what Paul mentioned in my walk with God. true enough, even when i have come to realise that it is not about the things that you do for God, it is the reason behind the things that you do for God.

some of us start serving because we want to do something for God, to follow in obedience and in turn, seek after God's heart. but along the way we lose our footsteps, struggled with walking the footpath crafted out for us, got distracted and lose sight of our focus.

yet through all these, we know fairly well that God will hold on to us if we hold on to Him. And if we made it through, it is truly by His grace that fill the distance to reach to Him. because His heavenly standards are way beyond measures compared to the worldly standards that we often measure ourselves with.

sometimes pride do get into me. it is easy to say, "aiya, i know that God knows that i won't be able to do this. but i'll just try anyway. after all, God knows my limits and He will understand."

like what Tommy Tenney said in his first chapter, "it is not a pride thing; it is a hunger thing".

the hunger for God, the hunger to pursue Him.

i'm ashamed to say, that i don't have that kind of hunger to pursue God even though i would very much like to. i'm not prepared to face what He will do, not prepared to accept what He will tell me and perhaps, not prepared to put His plans into my actions.

i am, still very much of the world. which i try my very best to divert away from it. perhaps the pursuit of God takes a lot more than what i've thought it would. but i guess all that matters is the desire to pursue.

Tommy Tenney also said, "When you pursue God with all your heart, soul and body, He will turn to meet you and you will come out of it RUINED for the world."

think about it. maybe working towards being ruined for the world would be a good thing after all :)

she pens down @ 12:47 AM --------------------------------------------------------------