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Saturday, March 22, 2008
after a month or so of praying & fasting, the time set aside for sanctification is finally here. being in the presence of God for the past 2 nights left me feeling refreshed and rested in my soul & spirit already. somehow or rather, it has been a rather long time since i felt this way.
despite daily quiet time & occasional solitudes, time with God the past 2 nights has been rather different. i felt a warmer & deeper intimacy this time around. perhaps there is really a need to set aside time deliberately to step out of the wordly issues, quieten our spirits, calm our hearts and dedicate our thoughts to God.
sanctification week holds a different meaning for me each year. and i look forward to this year's simply because pastor khong gave the 40-days of prayer & fasting which i commited myself to keep to it as faithfully as i could within my best efforts. perhaps this period of praying & fasting has allowed me to understand a different level of hunger for Him. also, to identify and recognise that the struggle to keep to my commitment was greater than what i though it would be. And to also see that i am learning to rely more on God for His strength & wisdom through the different situations which i faced over the past month of prayer & fasting.
indeed God has been good. i was just looking back at how layleng's girls used to be. shuyan, huiyi, qiaoyun, melissa, yanying, sarah & i have never been this close. the way we communicate, the way we reach out beyond cell commitments, the way we relate to each other & the way we allow one another to enter into certain parts of our personal lives.
i truly thank God for the commitment i made in one of my new year's resolutions, which i'm beginning to see that God do make my efforts work even when i don't see the results. there would be many more days to come, with many hurdles to cross especially after hearing some of our heart-to-heart sharings last sunday.
even though after such a long time, i still struggle with the notion of understanding how a g12 groups should be, or how it should function, or how the members in the g12 should bond or relate to each other. and even though i still don't see and don't see how i can link g12 to equate to being close when we revolve so much around cell leaderships and building up each other's lives. maybe that will take sometime for me to find a balance, an equation or even come to understanding that g12 just means everything jumbled up & add all the chapalang stuff that i blurted out.
but there's one thing which i'm very sure of.
this is definitely FAMILY :)
she pens down @ 2:09 AM