my footprints

Sunday, November 04, 2007

last night's G12 meeting left me deep in thoughts. so what exactly is a G12 group? if not for last night, perhaps i'll really go through this period of my life learning, searching for an answer to this question. thinking that i need to find this meaning in reality. but i've come to know that, to embrace this family spirit needs even more deliberate effort than what i've thought.

i ask of forgiveness. forgiveness for not trying hard enough. forgiveness for procrastinating. forgiveness for being indifferent. forgiveness for overlooking every little thing. forgiveness for always focusing on myself. forgiveness when jealousy gets over me and when i tend to withdraw.

we don't say much, yet the very reason why we turn up is because of each other, even though the barely-seen efforts seem otherwise. i see that entering into our different lives seem somewhat difficult because we often think that its never going to be two-way thing.

but i pray that we do not give up.

i really don't wish to wait for another year to start realising that our relationships only progressed a little. MAYBE we really took things too slowly.

but i want to believe that in the course of entering into your lives, i'll see and learn the process of being in a family. not just searching for an answer, nor waiting for things to appear overnight in favour of my selfish nature.

perhaps i, too need to pray for a bigger heart for a greater capacity to love.

she pens down @ 12:03 AM --------------------------------------------------------------