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Tuesday, August 07, 2007

you know, i was just wondering what i really want to do in the future. i mean more specifically to the exact job title and stuff like that. my dad asked me some questions and those really made me ponder. in fact, it kinda made me despair a little. and that my sense of lostness sets in. sigh.

well, i'm beginning to realise that life is much tougher than i thought. and it is because of the choices that i've made. i don't think i'm seeing it as i cannot handle or go through it. but the thought of having to work things out one by one in the long run can already wear me out.

somehow i think haven't really been a good testimony at home. my mum finally said a little of what she wanted to say since a very very long time ago. well, her words did hurt me though. i supposed she had more to say but i got the underlying meaning without needing her to say more. maybe i am not making enough effort to make my efforts deliberate enough. or maybe i think that my family's expectations are too much. i want to work on this but i don't know what else i can compromise. being in the midst of dropping a certain commitment and processing through to take up a conviction seems like everything is getting on me suddenly. ahhhhhh :(


she pens down @ 10:48 PM
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