my footprints

Sunday, July 08, 2007

i realised there's actually a lot of things that i need to do and responsibilities to fulfill.

1. cell group (the lives that i want to enter into)
2. G12 (personal relationships that i committed myself to work on)
3. weekly work commitments (lesson plans & prepartions, weekly newsletter, monthly events & upcoming end-of-year concert preparations)
4. final assignment (video & compilation of all the things done since last year)
5. constant presence at home (so that my family don't think that i treat home like a hotel)
6. my personal journey with God (i need to work on this again)

i think i have a problem. i don't know how to manage my time. okayys maybe not managing of time. but i don't know how to weigh and divide my time accordingly.

sometimes i just think that i don't want to do anything at all. perhaps if i could choose, i'll just pick number 6 from the above mentioned and do nothing but just that.

i used to tell myself that i will get the hang of it after some time and it won't be so stressful. assignments will be completed soon, things will be more settled in time to come et cetera et cetera. but yet, everything else will come if i choose to work on item number 6. somehow or other, i just can't. more and more things seem to come along the way when i'm trying my best to set my feet right in what i'm doing. my tiredness really wears me out.

i don't want to say "i cannot" or "i give up". its the launch of the 100k campaign already. i choose to think that it is the perfect time of testing for me. in fact, i do think it will strengthen this weaker part of me right now.

well, something did trigger my thoughts. i'm just feeling hurt & affected after what happened this morning. i just need a good cry. i think i really do.

she pens down @ 12:49 AM --------------------------------------------------------------