Friday, December 08, 2006

today's cell group was more like a discussion session. but we didn't really expect all those questions to surface up. and the many things that were mentioned, got me thinking quite a bit.


if a cell group means to be life impacting life, then there must first be love in the group. sometimes i look back and despair at myself cos there have been many times when i see it as part of a structure and a neccessity. i don't mean a burden but it has become too technical.


what exactly is the G12 vision and who is it for? i mean, most of us can just say that the G12 vision centers around building up the apostlic faith and multiplying disciple makers to establish the kingdom of God. so does it mean that if you feel that the vision is not for you, you'll have to leave the church? or wait and pray till God convicts your heart? i guess many have left and many have stayed faithfully because of this G12 vision. but somehow, has it then become too structured that we are too customed to it?


attending SOL lessons too, have become some kind of judgement. leaders are often concerned about which level we're at, how many % of the lessons we've covered. yet sometimes it has too, become very technical. some attend due to fulfilling the full 100% for that class so that they can account to their leaders. for me, i've not seen the more important side of it through out the times that i've attended. except that it was more like feeding of knowledge. it was refreshing and motivating to learn more. but it was only until that day when God tested me of my knowledge and how much i've learnt through an incident. since then, i attended the classes with more conviction.


so if thats the case, then what exactly is a G12 group? what kind of function does it serve? we can always say that it is very much like a cell group. that it circulates around building up leaders' spirtual lives and leading them and their people into building up disciple-makers. so if thats the case, then where is that personal touch? is it because we do not spend enough time together? or do we not have a common purpose?


are we becoming too selfish with our time and thus only doing selective meeting up with certain people only? or do we not want to invest our time in some people whom we think that we'll not get a return payment of our time and investment? are we not being interested in the other party's life that we just smile happily and chat for that moment and then go back to our own self-centered lives? often i think, "why doesn't this person want to meet me?". yet as i look back, there's not much that i have done. meaning, i didn't put in that effort to want to know the person better. yet i think about why that friend meets everyone except for me.


i was talking to melissa on our way back. we both agreed that these questions do surface up especially now that its mentioned. in a way, ashamed of how we've reacted and our past actions. there's so much more to reflect upon and talk to God after this night of sharing :)

she pens down @ 11:58 PM --------------------------------------------------------------